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Tragically, many men don't come to this realization until after they've married and had kids, thus leaving a lot of destruction behind them.

Here's another perspective on this I'm sure you'll find interesting, like it or not: Essays/Barlow/shameless/ "My point being, it's not his "inability to commit:" it's his unwillingness." I'd say it really is his inability. About a dozen years ago, there was a cartoon in the New Yorker which summed up the current status of "commitment".

Men and women are caught up in a false-flag operation where we've been convinced that we are each other's enemy when the real enemy is the fantasy of long-term sexual monogamy that's pushed by media and science. We are a species that is highly sexual (arguably more than any other species on the planet), but we're told we're not.

We're told that we should seek "a mate" who will solve all our emotional problems forever.

Perhaps, if Trevor cheated on you, berated you in public, gave you a couple black eyes or called you a fat, ugly whore, he might earn the title, but for breaking up with you? Very rarely do guys actually want to inflict pain on you. Non-committal, not ready for a relationship, whatever you want to call it-- that's it! Not the bad boy himself, but his inability to commit. Arguably the best guy of them all, Edward Cullen, also has commitment issues. Meanwhile, a lot of women out there are hurting great guys that genuinely want to commit and be in a relationship, but that’s not what we want, we want the dumbass challenge.

Trevor is an asshole, because he was honest about his feelings? He would call and leave stupid sappy voicemails, do a hysterical Kermit impression, and surprise visit you in France while you were studying abroad, because he knew you didn't want to be alone for the holidays. Of course he did in other ways, but he had a good heart. If it's too easy to get the guy, then she might think, "Wait, he just fell into my lap. Just look at the whole Tiger Woods situation, a beautiful wife and he still cheats.

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