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Freud can say whatever he wants against defense mechanisms, but without them, you’re defenseless. It always thinks that it is a good bear, a proper bear, that a bear-hating world has it out for them in particular. Green The first thing you do after taking the green pill is become a sparrow.Your sessions are spent in incisive cutting into your clients’ deepest insecurities alternating with desperate reassurance that they are good people anyway. You knew, in a vague way, that men thought about sex all the time. But you realize that if you were as horny as they were all the time, you’d do much the same. You soar across the landscape, feeling truly free for the first time in your life.Pink You were always pretty, but never pretty pretty. He’d never shown any interest in you before, no matter how much you flirted with him. You worry that your bluff has been called until you realize that, in fact, you are a master hacker.
Then you solemnly resolve to do B, and do the same.Sometimes you forget how incompetent everybody else is. Nobody wants their spokesman to be a bodybuilder without a sixpack, and although you used to be pretty buff, you’re getting scrawnier by the day.Your personal trainer tells you that you only maintain muscle mass by doing difficult work at the limit of your ability, but your abilities don’t seem to have any limits. I don’t know what came over me.” Then he walks off. “But don’t touch me.” He seems a little put out by this latter request, but the heat of his passion is so strong he would do anything you ask.But you didn’t realize the, um, content of some of their sexual fantasies. You make it about five minutes before a hawk swoops down and grabs you. Orange You never really realized how incompetent everyone else was, or how much it annoys you.Turns out there’s an excellent reason real sparrows don’t soar freely across the open sky all day. You head back to Earth less and less frequently now. You were a consultant, a good one, but you felt like mastering all human skills would make you better. The next day you go in to advise a tech company on how they manage the programmers, and you realize that not only are they managing the programmers badly, but the programmers aren’t even writing code very well. The layout of their office is entirely out of sync with the best-studied ergonomic principles.He tells you things can’t possibly be as bad as all that. You didn’t plan to become the King of Saudi Arabia, per se. How come nobody else is any good at urban planning? Some people tell you it isn’t, but they don’t seem to have a lot of BRUTE STRENGTH, so what do they know? Able to lift thousands of pounds with a single hand, you easily overpower the competition and are crowned whatever the heck it is you get crowned when you WIN WEIGHTLIFTING CONTESTS.It just sort of happened when your demonstration of how rebels in the military might launch a coup went better than you expected. But this fails to translate into lucrative endorsement contracts.He’s worried about sedition in the royal family, and wants your advice as a consultant for how to ensure his government is stable.You travel to Riyadh, and find that the entire country is a mess. But the King is also an idiot, and refuses to believe you or listen to your recommendations. That’s what’s important and valuable in this twenty-first-century economy, right?A lot of people seem kind of creeped out by a scrawny guy with no muscles going up to every woman he sees and boasting of his BRUTE STRENGTH, but the Internet tells you that is because they are BETA CUCKOLD ORBITERS. Not wanting to end up on an autopsy table in Roswell, you explain that you’re a perfectly ordinary master hacker.Somebody told you once that Internet sites are sometimes inaccurate. How could you figure out which are the inaccurate ones using BRUTE STRENGTH? The government offers you a plea bargain: they’ll drop charges if you help the military with cyber-security.