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In fact, I even spent a few months at different stretches exclusively dating a few guys who didn't light my fire because I thought, "Maybe I'm just being difficult!Maybe I should be more willing to give people who like me a lot a go! And so trial and error has taught me that pushing myself when I didn't feel the spark was pretty much a waste of time.# # #Some of you have also asked what the spark feels like, for me. Regarding the spark: There's a reason that thing got its name. It's a bit like the reaction I have if somebody comes up behind me and startles me, only a bit subtler and more pleasant; somewhat like the feeling after having a shot of espresso, only more flickering, with a kind of inner-stomach-tremble-thing going on. Do you forgive me and understand where I'm coming from on the topic of second dates? xxx------------------------------------dear Chessenia: i'm glad you are with me on this!Here are the perfect texts to send after the first date, depending on how well things went.Justin Lavelle of People Looker.com, the leading online background check platform for digital daters, proposed this text as the most immediate post-date communique because it shows you are interested and "sends the message that you are a nice person." Beyond that, it could keep the convo and the good time going. It might lead to a little text flirting that can be fun and a perfect cap to the evening!But it's also incredibly effective for scenarios in which the date was totally awesome and you want to express it in a sassy and original way that shows off more of your personality.If someone sent me that text, I'd so be game for date No.Lovelies: This week--after my mention of "date-recycling" and my tips on how to graciously decline a second date--a few of you seemed to think I'm a little too picky, and that I don't give most dudes a second chance.In my own defense, let me say this: Regarding the giving of second chances: I went through a phase--after beginning to wonder if I might have something of a problem with commitment-phobia--of going along with just about EVERYONE who asked for one second date.

You can also get to date two even if date one was "meh" based on calculated post-date transmissions.

David Ezell, the clinical director of Darien Wellness, a counseling and mental wellness group in Connecticut, conducts dating workshops and told me that "the topic of texting has risen sharply over the past five years." It seems easier for each participant in the date to keep the conversation going from a distance, using a keyboard rather than live, spoken communication.

Ezell continued, "Dating is as much a sales game as anything." His take on post-date texting is that "too much communication from one party can be intimidating." Meanwhile, April Davis, relationship expert, certified life coach, and CEO of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, reminded us that "texting causes a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings because it is hard to read or interpret emotion through text." Yikes!

2 because it has a sense of humor and is totally frisky.

If the bank metaphor isn't quite working for you, you can try something with a similar start and finish.

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