Dating someone who has been to rehab
For example: Your partner invites you to a work or family event where alcohol is being served.
Should you be open about your recovery or just fake it with water on the rocks?
cautions that relationships are “the number one relapse trigger” so it’s first important to take the time to “heal yourself first.” Faulkner’s healthy-dating-in-sobriety checklist is key: “You should have a solid base of recovery—two years; no relapses; you should have worked the steps; you should be meeting often with your sponsor to discuss dating; and you should regularly be attending your home-group meetings.” She adds, “Both people should attend Al-Anon meetings, too.
“I started dating a guy who told me he didn’t drink,” she recalls.
“We had very civilized, nice dates but, after a while, I started to catch onto the fact that he really did drink—he was just trying to control his drinking and never indulged around me.
Carroll offers, “Most alcoholics know places that don’t serve liquor—coffeehouses, museums.
If you’re going out to dinner, it’s okay to wait till you arrive, and when the wine list arrives just say, ‘Nah, I don’t do that anymore.’ Do it casually; whether to go into greater detail or not really depends upon the relationship.”Amy, a 32-year-old stylist who lives in Manhattan and has been sober for 10 years, tells of romancing a particular “normie,” who turned out to be anything but.