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While it is no excuse for the spouse playing the role of the child, one reason many spouses play that role is because they are allowed to do so without any real consequences.So the active alcoholic or relapsed prescription drug user or the wannabe rock star can ignore their family and their responsibilities without experiencing homelessness, separation from their children, and an end to their intimate relationship with their spouse.Why should they grow up if they never experience the negative consequences of their decisions?No marriage is perfect, but it is far easier to navigate life with someone on your side rather than with someone demanding one more thing from you.Are you a single parent in the US looking to find a loving partner?One spouse plays the role of the parent: On paper these are marriages, but in practice they are parent-child relationships. (See: The Math of a Good Marriage) The first piece of advice in working with couples in these types of relationships is obvious—tell one spouse to stop being a child.More times than I can count, I’ve looked a man in the eye and told him, “Your wife deserves a husband not a child.If the worst thing that happens to them is an occasional cold shoulder or huff from their spouse, there isn’t a driving reason for them to stop drinking, come home on time, or get a job.(see: If Your Dog (or Husband) Runs, Don’t Chase Him) You have every right to list your boundaries in regards to your relationship with your spouse: This isn’t controlling or manipulating; it is a clear communication of what you are and are not willing to do.Marriage can be the most important and fulfilling relationship in a person’s life but it only happens when two people are equal partners.This doesn’t mean they do the same things or have the same skills.