Dating an emotionally unavailable women
It’s easy to “love” someone we don’t know a lot about. Often, they will not commit to anything, even in the short-term.
It’s easier not to have to deal with those quirks and faults on a daily basis which over time may end up bothering us. They may say, “Let’s not talk about the future” or “Let’s live in the present.” On the surface, statements like these appear reasonable.
I know of one case where a woman who dumped her partner (who had moved across country to be with her) was genuinely surprised that he was not happy when she shared that her new love interest was the greatest person in the world.
Sometimes it seems that they are lacking sensitivity or even basic human empathy but unlike someone who is deliberately trying to be mean or invoke a jealous reaction, they simply do not grasp they may be hurting someone.
While it’s good to try to get some closure and “get it all out,” your closure may be accepting that this is a person who will never get it.
What would it take for him to make that commitment, I often wondered to myself? Trying to understand the emotionally unavailable man so that you too can understand him and finally release yourself from the subconscious need to change him in order to feel worthy. But whether he does, whether he accepts his own reality and chooses to get his priorities in order enough for him to make the kind of commitment he needs to isn’t yours, Beautiful.
But no, even after 7 years with him, no matter how much she gave him his space and was a perfect match for him in so many ways, she too finally gave up. Every woman he was with knew that he lived on his terms and knew she needed to accept him on those same terms. Did she have something that none of the rest had before her? But was she compatible with him when he was ready to put what made her compatible with him at the top of his priority list?
(Fortunately, I also heard there was a happy ending there - soon after they broke up, she met and married someone far more perfect for her than he could ever have been. Every woman he was with saw his potential and knew there were no guarantees that he would ever live up to it.
I had heard the term once or twice and I thought it was just some bizarre psychological term that seemed too diagnostic and unrealistic. Fast forward to a year later after a horrible, heart-wrenching, not-ever-going-to-recover-from-this-I-want-to-die breakup.
How could anyone be emotionally was cry, laugh, scream, get angry and cry some more. I found myself in a onesie and pink ugg boots (remember when those used to be in style? I had gotten to the point where I felt like I had nowhere to turn.