Dating a serial monogamist
And female SMs are often seen as particularly pathetic creatures who simply cannot survive without someone else being there to provide them with succour. For most of us, these relationships happen by accident.
The right person around the right time pops up and away we go – even if that means indulging in a little overlapping.
Which is why whenever I’m accused of serial monogamy, I immediately jump on the defence.
‘Of course, I’m not a serial monogamist; I don’t need a man to make me feel complete,’ I’ll argue. Serial monogamists (SMs) are people who find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship, without giving themselves a breather.
When you’ve just come out of a relationship, you’re often not looking for someone new so when they do come along, it’s something that blossoms naturally. Being able to have casual sex and juggle a number of people at the same time is the ultimate ‘busy’ accolade that comes with balancing a busy job, active social life and gruelling fitness regime. Being in a relationship is somewhere in the middle.
When you’ve been single a while, dating apps offer a tailor-made way of meeting like-minded people who you know you’ll be attracted to. Being single is lumped at the bottom…unless you’re single and actively dating.We seek out relationships and are still social animals.‘Monogamous relationships (if they are healthy/good) allow a secure attachment to develop – built on trust, security, intimacy, honesty.At university, I often saw a few people at the same time because they didn’t have my full attention.You can do that when you’re a student (when really anything goes) and you’re emotionally uninvested.function: noun one who spends as little time as possible being single, moving from the end of one relationship to the beginning of a new relationship as quickly as possible although the relationships in which many serial monogamists find themselves are also often short lived, the defining aspect of serial monogamy is the desire and ability to enter new relationships very quickly, thus abbreviating any period of single life during which the serial monogamist may begin to ask questions of an existential nature Percy: Wow, I can't believe Gwyvron is already dating someone else!I thought he just broke up with Lorelai at last week's LARP after she accidentally cut off his phonytail...Therefore it isn’t always accurate to call the next boyfriend or conquest a ‘rebound’.Rebound or not, life is too short to swerve people you’d probably get on with and would like to bone (or whatever).I actually prefer being single; relationships require you to perennially put someone else’s needs before your own and they come with all kinds of anxieties and behavioural codes. ‘We evolved to seek out relationships, survival of the fittest meant that our main aims was to survive and reproduce, this meant finding a partner,’ says Clinical Psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd.‘While this isn’t the main aim anymore, our brains are still the same.